Over the mountains and through the woods…

Who doesn't love a vacation?
     I do enjoy getting "away from it all".

However children really do bring a different perspective to trips.

…Like when we stopped to get gas (in a state that requires an attendant to do it for you), our son (while admiring the attendant's hat) yells out "It's a COW BOY MOMMY! A REAL COWBOY! I MUST TALK TO THE COWBOY MOMMY!"  

Also I must keep our boys sheltered from "name brand" toys… because when he played with a relatives John deer tractor it caused confusion. "Mom, who is John?" I explained that it's called a john deer tractor….  but my son insisted "No, if it's Johns tractor, I'd like to meet him."

Also there is nothing like listening to three screaming kids for two hours straight at a time!

Oh how I love vacations…
© 2013 thecrazysleepdeprivedhousewife@gmail.com.   All Rights Reserved 

Garbage Anyone?

My husband and I have tried every method we can fathom.

We have let our son stay up late.... Still our almost five year old wakes with the rise of the sun.
One time when he was sick he slept until nine! NINE!

As you can imagine, my youngest is teething and keeps me up late at night.
 I just can't wake at four or five (not with sanity anyway)... sometimes I can do six.... though I prefer seven or  better eight.


 Because of this, my son doesn't think my schedule works for him.

He just can't understand why I wont make pancakes at five in the morning.

I have bought him yogurts he can feed himself, I leave fruit out, sometimes I even put together a trail mix.

So one would think this should be sufficient. Yet to my horror I woke to my son eating the remains in the garbage can....

I yelled "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

He replied "Yummy".

I gasped "No! I bought you snacks.... WHY didn't you eat them?"

My son smiled "This was yummy"


..... I give up! I throw in the towel!

I don't know what to say..... I'm terrified and the only thing I can think to do is laugh hideously.


© 2013 thecrazysleepdeprivedhousewife@gmail.com.   All Right Reserved 

Lessons To Life

You know the saying  "Out of the mouth of babes..."

     Well, my wee babes tell me all sorts of facts.

So I decided to share with you their wealth of knowledge, 
you're welcome!

• Have you ever had an indoor problem with pesky fly's in the summer time?

My son taught me the secret to ending this dilemma... Simply pour dirt onto the kitchen table!

That's all there is to it! Dirt on the table! I haven't tried this... and I'm not saying  I will... but my sources say it solves the problem.

•  When you love someone a lot and want to tell them so, do so while referring to random objects.  

Example: "I love you as much as a race-car-sandwich in a buss" or "I love you like a hippo-baloney-air-truck" ...awe how sweet, I think? If anything it'll keep them guessing! 

• If you don't want to work then tell the post man to stop sending you bills!                              Wait? Huh? Again...  I admit I haven't tried this, I don't actually advise this method. Though,  My son swears if we do this Daddy wont have to work  ever again. If only!

• If you have to pee in the middle of the night but don't want to walk to the bathroom, simply pee on the floor, next to your bed. This one may get you grounded! 

• When you get caught doing the opposite of what you were told repeat the following "I did want to listen, yes I did, I did want to do this, but yeah... I just can't"  This always makes me chuckle but nevertheless the discipline is still the same. 

• Negotiate meals! 

Son: "Mommy whats for dinner?"

Me: "Spagetti"

Son: "hmmm... I think I want cake"

Me: "No, I'm making spaghetti"

Son: "I think you make cake"

Me: "Sorry I'm still making spaghetti, so you will eat spaghetti."

Son: "Sorry, maybe next time" 

....This has never worked but maybe it could? 

Now that you have learned the values to life, make sure you use them wisely! ...or maybe you shouldn't use them at all...

© 2013 thecrazysleepdeprivedhousewife@gmail.com.   All Right Reserved 

Boys NEED Dirt!

That's Right! 
OK...
Maybe they don't "NEED" dirt, but they do love dirt (My boys do anyway).

My oldest will run off with our shovel and dig holes all over the yard. 

I'm glad he's getting exercise but my poor yard pays for it. 

My other reason for making them a "Dirt Box" is that sand isn't the healthiest of choices for play boxes (research it!).

 For many reasons, I decided to go with a dirt box... 

Hey, if they dump it in the grass (Sand dulls your lawn mower blades) it wont hurt the lawn mower!  

Here is my project: 

Step 1. Build a frame inside a frame, than dig out the area you want the frame to be.
Step 2. Follow Cement directions and poor into frame. 
-Place a few rock in cement for looks and let dry-
Step 3. Remove frame, (Follow drying instructions) pour dirt in and PLAY! :-)




© 2013 thecrazysleepdeprivedhousewife@gmail.com.

Crafty I am

Once in a while I get an idea and it brings out my crafty side.
So I was thinking that maybe I'll post a few of my older projects... Who knows maybe they will give you inspiration.  (Do me a favor and let me know if my craftiness is inspiring in any way.) 



1. Lion Cake!
I was on a short notice and budget, so this cake isn't my fanciest.
My son loved it, and that was the goal.

I used a pumpkin cake tin and turned it upside down to make a lions face.  I used fondant (homemade by my sister) to do the zebra and giraffe stripes on the cupcakes.

2. Another Birthday cake! 
This time it was all about construction... Very easy to do, almost too easy.
The backhoe is digging away at the cake and I poured sprinkles and rock-candies on top.

3. Another DIY play kitchen.
I obviously didn't come up with this on my own, but I confess with a little creativity it is pretty easy.
 I did it all under $50.00!    How? Sales/Discounts/Consignments

4. A Potty Chart!
 When I potty trained my oldest, he was into cars.
So I had him put a sticker on the road each time he used the potty. It worked very well!

 

5. I grew a garden....
My sister and I decided to co-garden, using makeshift containers and old tires.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Let's face it kids are honest, too honest. 

The only way to survive parenthood is to have a good sense of humor. 

If all else fails, Laugh!

With as crazy as my little men are, I decided I want blackmail when they're older. 

... Ok honestly, I want to sit back and be able to remember all these cute little moments. 

Like the time my oldest was potty training and in front of the entire family said to his aunt "Aunt____, I poo for you?".  It was hilarious!  

So I came up with an idea...
                      I'm sure I'm not the first to come up with this idea, but I thought I'd share. 

I went to a local discount store (I love discounts), and bought a journal. 

Every time one of my munchkins does something cute or blackmail worthy, I write it down. 

Like this:

John Doe age 4     10/10/10

Today I had to explain to John that grandpa had to go away for a short while on business.
His response "Like Bob the builder, Grandpa is going to build things?" 

Yes, my father, his grandfather works in construction... So now my son thinks "bob" must be grandpa's friend.  

Go on now, start documenting! 

P.s. share your funny quotes.

I killed the child!

Calm down, I'm joking! 

Ugh... but I had a text error that sent my husband into a panic attack a while ago.

Have you ever made an error in a text? One time I texted one of my besties "Thanks for honking of me!" ....That should have read "thinking". 

Text messages can cause more harm then good, well sometimes.  

When our son had a fever for two days, my husband wanted me to text him with an update. He wanted to know how our son was doing, first thing in the morning. 

I text that his fever was "108.0" and that he was "eating a popsicle" 

Our son is four, his fever was 100.8, and I didn't see the error. 

You can imagine the flood of texts I received. 

"TAKE HIM TO THE ER NOW!!!" was one of them...


When I realized my mistake, I apologized up and down. 

Then I asked him if he really thinks I'm that bad of a mom?(Jokingly)

I had to reassure him that I would take our son into the ER if his fever is 102 or higher. This mom doesn't play around with fevers! 

Coffee anyone? 

A Balancing Act

    I prefer an immaculate house, 
    since having children this is no longer a normalcy.

Have you ever heard the saying "Cleaning with kids in the house, is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos."? 

There is more truth to that quote than I would like.  

My oldest is getting to an age where he can help Mommy, but sometimes it's not worth the poking and prodding.  

If I had to describe in words what cleaning is like with three little boys...

(You'll need an imagination for this )

Have you ever tried zumba? (If not try google)

 Do you know how to play chess? 

Could you successfully do the two while directing someone to change the oil in a car (for the first time)? 

If you can do all three of these at the same time...  congratulations you could successfully clean my house.... 

Now the question is, how many hours would it stay clean? 

Creativity

I love photography, and I'm not too bad at it.

I'm glad my son shares my love for photography.

See it's always interesting to find pictures you didn't take on your camera.

I thought I'd share his creative eye...

I'll call this one the "sit in the laundry basket while taking a picture".

 Your guess is as good as mine, but I think he zoomed in on the laundry basket.

 These too...

 Climbing out of the laundry basket?

Zooming-in on his face? Maybe his brothers?

Maybe his hand?

Now you know, my son is talented! 

What you've never heard of modern photography?

Take A Chill Pill

I think it's easy to get "caught" up in life.
As a mom, there is so much to do. Children's physical and emotional needs can be overwhelming.
Thankfully, my boys like to remind me to take a chill pill.

The baby:
Well, he just has to look at me. Really he is that stinking cute! 
He's going on six months, and my heart just melts when he says "Mama".

The toddler:
He likes to give me a reality check. For instance, (I'm breast feeding the baby) when he hands  me a random item from the garbage can. Before I can react in disgust, he has to say something all cute. He gives me those puppy dog eyes "Mama I got dis foo you" and my heart melts.... Until I realize I'm holding garbage next to the baby. Ah!

The child:
 He can be a lot to deal with, my nick name for him is Flash (like the superhero). He's fast and he is always going somewhere. The kid jumps up and down when he is watching TV.  

He also can undo all the locks in the house, except the top lock on the front door. Which we quickly learned what happens when we forget to lock it. What happens? Well, lets just say our son was dancing on top of the van ( For the five minutes I was frantically searching the house for him).

Every so often he does something so sweet. Like the other night he was asking me questions, somehow we got onto the conversation about him growing up. I mentioned to him in our conversation, that he would one day have his own house and family. 

This did not go over well. He grabbed both sides of my face, with his hands, and said very seriously "Mommy, I will never leave you". 

(Deep Sigh) For a moment I got teary eyed, but as soon as the conversation was over, I thought about it. NEVER? Never Leave? He'll change his mind when he's twenty, right?


© 2013 thecrazysleepdeprivedhousewife@gmail.com.

You robbed me of nap time!

    
    Noise, without a doubt my house has it. I have random annoying toys, screaming, yelling, crying, odd sounds (pirates, monsters, dragons).... You get the idea?

    My house is only quiet two times a day... 
Nap time (IF  they all nap at the same time) and bed time.

    So when you have small children it's nice to get a call before someone stops by... You know, for the days you haven't had a chance to shower (motherhood is beautiful). 

    My personal favorite is when the random sales guy knocks on your door... [You wake them, you take them! Kidding!] 
But...  I do wish I could charge him/her for a fresh mocha. 

    Oh Person, that woke my babies up, What exactly made you think noon was a good time to knock on the door? 

    So please go on about how I need a...  Vacuum, cable TV, or  a maid service. Meanwhile my previously sleeping angels, start a choir of crying, because you rang the door bell, which made the dog bark... ugh! 

[You should hear it, it sounds like an awful choir.]

Yup, I most defiantly want to buy something now!


Maybe I should start handing them monopoly money? 


© 2013 thecrazysleepdeprivedhousewife@gmail.com.

I'm Cheating on...

(I'm cheating on sleep ...with coffee.)

Just thinking about coffee makes me want more.

I'm moody without my morning coffee, in fact I'm a mess.

The sight of the mocha stand makes me happy.

My nose inhales the smell...  and my heart goes a-flutter.

I stalk my lover, I demand more! 

I shake with anticipation.

After an encounter my heart thumps faster.

I can't think without it! I can't focus! 

Often at night I can't sleep... 
                   I toss and turn... oh this crazy addiction! 

What happened to us sleep? 

Why did you leave me?

Where have you been? 

....For now coffee will fill my void.

Oh sleep please forgive me, don't be mad, perhaps in a few years we will rekindle our love! 

© 2013 thecrazysleepdeprivedhousewife@gmail.com.

Organic Paint!

My darling two year old decided his room was lacking color.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for VOC-free and environmentally friendly paint.
I'm not sure how he got around to sneaking food in his room, but he smuggled a fruit pouch in.

He must have thought "This orange color goes good with the walls...  lets put some here".

"... and a little there ... Now that looks good!"

"Lets put some on the carpet too!" He also decorated his curtains and bedding.

Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant! 
Why haven't I thought to paint with fruit before?


© 2013 thecrazysleepdeprivedhousewife@gmail.com.

Motherhood... It's not a REAL job!

[I originally wrote this while reading grown women argue on a parenting site.... The argument? "Stay at home moms have it easy"  vs " Working moms don't raise their kids"]

(If you do not find sarcasm funny, turn away now!)

Obviously some think the job of motherhood is easy, while others think it is difficult.

 I  think each child and family is different...

 Personally my family often sounds like a zoo. Maybe this makes me a zoo keeper? 

Maybe this will give you more perspective, If nothing, I hope you have a good laugh: 

    Stay-At-Home mom's do not have REAL Jobs, they have miniature munchkins that have daily demolition demonstrations. 

These munchkins have fecal accidents, destroy property, have panic attacks, hourly confrontations and leave tornadoes of mess left behind them. (Having one child is a picnic to the mom of three, but she still has her "days".)

BUT it's not a REAL Job. 

Just like working moms are not REAL mom's....

    Working mom's get up and get out the door while dragging munchkins with them.
 These acrobatic moms spend hours dragging gear along with munchkins to school/daycare. 

They spend most their time away from home, working. They parent at night and on weekends.... OR they play switch it/shake it up with daddy, while doing acrobatic hours... But they are not REAL mothers.

    Also, I think My husband in not a REAL husband because he is never home. He's working... but never home. 
Always faithful, but never home... so he doesn't qualify... Right?

I think my dog should apply to be a cat. He doesn't act like a REAL dog... so he must be a cat?

I think bottle fed babies are not REAL babies because they don't eat REAL food. I think breastfed-one-headed unicorn's are purple people eaters....

I find that my car thinks it's a chariot so therefore it is not a REAL Van... Maybe it's a cat van?

Do you see where I'm going with this? 

Have you ever endured judgmental comments about motherhood? 


© 2013 thecrazysleepdeprivedhousewife@gmail.com.